From Elsewhere On The Internet

The full letter can be found at the following URL:

http://deadspin.com/476104218

I have been offered a second internship with BMW, a profoundly respected world leader in luxury automobile manufacturing, for this upcoming summer and fall semesters. Obviously, looking to significantly enhance my resume to a level enabling me to one day run corporate America, I will be returning to this prestigious multinational corporation. Therefore, returning to the pool for another summer would be like Apple CEO Steve Jobs returning to Foot Locker for summer employment, especially seeing as that returning to the pool would mean being a subordinate to a woman of below average intelligence with the responsibility of teaching "ghetto" school children various topics and subjects that they couldn't care less about. This would be the equivalent of Bill Gates (Microsoft CEO, in case you were unaware) applying to work as a personal computer salesperson in a local Best Buy retail store.

After vacuuming the pool during early mornings last summer, coming in to work when you were unable to do so, and providing more than adequate instruction and tutelage to you, regardless of your overall lack of competence concerning very basic managerial responsibilities, one would expect that you would question the absence of my name on a list of eligible assistant managers for this summer - a list that includes two people that have YET to serve as assistant managers of the Pool. However, did you do so when informed by [Redacted]? Of course not. You showed no genuine interest in this rather odd and unexpected situation. 

After vacuuming the pool during early mornings last summer, coming in to work when you were unable to do so, and providing more than adequate instruction and tutelage to you, regardless of your overall lack of competence concerning very basic managerial responsibilities, one would expect that you would question the absence of my name on a list of eligible assistant managers for this summer - a list that includes two people that have YET to serve as assistant managers of the Pool. However, did you do so when informed by [Redacted]? Of course not. You showed no genuine interest in this rather odd and unexpected situation.